So today is Bro University incoming student open house? I don't know what it is. All I know is that it's a bunch of overachieving egotistical resume building nerds leading kids around campus telling them about all their wonderful college experiences, half of which are bullshit, all of which are G-rated. "This one time I woke up at 7:48 for an 8 o'clock exam! But don't worry I still got there on time! Smiley!" Fuck that shit. I want to hear the good stuff. Just once I wanted a tour guide to be like "See that park bench right there. I've fucked two Spaniards on it." "See that wooded clearing over there? Blunts fo' days." Maybe its not something that the folks want to hear, but once a kid hears that, all he's thinking is here we go.
If I could go back and redo my college decision process, I would go about it a whole new way. Hit up facebook, go to the [College] Class of 2013 group and check out the smokes we're working with. Default pics, profile pics, whatever you can get.
PS - Legit just heard a tour guide say "The campus' favorite event to do is Bingo!" Um....no I would say the favorite campus activity is getting hammered, getting Ronzios and rollin one up.
Fellas, im gonna be visiting Bro U in about two weeks and i dont want to have to deal with bad tour guides... can i get a personalized tour and a night out to see what Bryants about?
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