Wait, what?

What the fuck just happened? "it is also the time when all the losers and ugly girls think it's approipriate to join together and play 5 year old GAYmes in the middle of campus"? Whats up dude? Cause I'm pretty sure thats the opposite of what happens. Spring weekend to me is defined by bitches in yellow sun dresses, brolific bro's play cornhole, crushin Buschy Latte's and some Keith. To be honest I'm borderline hammered typin this bad boy up right now. Me, Jimmy Peterson, Slam Sandwich, and Fanny Almonte were just grillin with half the campus. Bitties on bitties. The people are confused! But don't worry all, Gheorge Muresan is here to set the record straight: GET THE FUCK OUTSIDE AND PLAY KANJAM. If your not playin lawn games while the suns out then your not gettin better, end of story.

PS: Girls get all hot and bothered when they see a great cornhole player.

Double PS: Barry Latham loves Beantown and Coronas. We have witnesses.

Spring Weekend... Get It

     There comes a time during the school year when the weather gets warmer, the sun gets brighter, and the girls get hotter. Spring. Weekend.  But, as awesome as spring weekend is and how cool it is that it's when all the smuts finally come back to school, it is also the time when all the losers and ugly girls think it's appropriate to join together and play 5 year old GAYmes in the middle of campus. Simply put, if you are outside frolicking in the sun before 4 pm then you are either a member of greek life or a loser, but I guess in both cases you are a loser anyways.  Before 4 you should be inside drinking some beers, playing sports video games that are based outside and getting blowjenskis (unless you're a girl, then you should be giving them).  And what the hell is this stupid frisbee game I've been seeing for the past week?  Literally every time I look out my window some scrubs are throwing the frisbee at a trash can 10 feet away from them... AND MISSING! I could make that shot with my dick and I can barely throw a frisbee.  It is by far the lamest thing I have seen all school year, worse then the Bryant News channel and Bryant Albert Einstein.  Oh sick dude, let's wear cargo shorts, training shoes with no midcalfs, a band shirt and have a couple 3s watch while we attempt to be cool.  Anyways, it's Spring Weekend here at Bro U so consider this weekend our vacation. See you hhhents in a few...

It's Finally Here!!

Well it's finally here guys. The biggest week of the year at Bryant. SPRING WEEK. Grab a basketball jersey, a red cup, and some shades. People going out every night of the week and people day drinking is the perfect medicine for disaster. If there aren't 20 people transported this week then I'm a pussy. Just literal pandemonium this weekend. DPS isnt stopping anyone this week. They just can't handle it. No one has any work to do and has plenty of booze. Buckle up and be a fuckin hero this week.

Spring Week '11 "Get pussy or be a pussy"

Quote of the Week - Torii Hunter

"People see dark faces out there, and the perception is that they're African-American. They're not us. They're impostors. Even people I know come up and say: 'Hey, what color is Vladimir Guerrero? Is he a black player?' I say, 'Come on, he's Dominican. He's not black.' As African-American players, we have a theory that baseball can go get an imitator and pass them off as us. It's like they had to get some kind of dark faces, so they go to the Dominican or Venezuela because you can get them cheaper. It's like, 'Why should I get this kid from the South Side of Chicago and have Scott Boras represent him and pay him $5 million when you can get a Dominican guy for a bag of chips?' ... I'm telling you, it's sad."

A new segment Gheorge Muresan will be bringing you on IATT will be called Quote of the Week. And while I know this quote from Hunter is over a year old, I thought it was only fitting to make the inaugural quote of the week from the best wall-climber in baseball.

Now onto the quote. First of all, is there any way we can get Torii Hunter on this blog? Because if you read between the lines, you can see there is a great blogger fighting to get out. I mean the Dominican's going rate is a bag of chips? I mean this would have been comparable to MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech had he only specified what kind. Sun Chips? Lays? Because everybody knows there is a massive difference between Fritos BBQ Twists and Shaws-brand Salt and Vinegar. But seriously, though, Hunter has a point here. I hate when Albinos step on the field and people automatically assume they're Irish. Agents picking them up for a stick of beef jerky instead of picking up a talented potato farmer and paying them the $5 M they deserve. They're imposters I tell ya, imposters!

Happy Easter

Crush some chocalate, glaze a little ham, and hunt eggs. Happy Easter fellas.

BREAKING NEWS: Marshall Stabbed by His Wife

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=6414256

Brandon was rushed to the hospital today and had surgery performed because his wife stabbed him. Some easter weekend huh? I think the best part about this story is that he said he fell on some glass. What a hero. The bitch puts him in the hospital and he lies to cover it up. Just kinda lying through his teeth so he wont have to file some papers. Brandon Marshall, your OK in my book. Snitches get Stitches.

When is it okay drop a huge F-bomb in front of your folks?

Here's the situation: me and Poppa Muresan are currently sharing some brews watching the Celts and Knicks in the playoffs. I'm really trying to enjoy the game, but I find myself not being able to enjoy it as if I were watching it with a couple of my buddies. And the big reason is because one of the great parts of watching a big game with friends is because everybody is getting rowdy and screaming obscenities at that bitch Carmelo. So what I want to know is if this game comes down to the wire and a call doesnt go our way, can I drop a "Mother Fucker!" right in my dad's eyeball and have him understand? I mean were not even talking about the regular season, we talkin about playoffs. And if its not okay how long must I wait? Because you know its going to be a great day when I finally can call the ref a cunt-snatch and have pop be cool with it. One step above graduation day, one step below my first blowjob. I mean is there like a timeline for this stuff. Wheres the green light? I guess I gotta try it tonight and see how it goes. Wish me luck because if this doesn't go the way I plan then I could be looking at a lot less Bulldog Bucks next year.

Are you Smushing a Slim Snooki?

http://www.celebrity-gossip.net/nicole-polizzi/snooki-slims-down-summer-499290

So basically according to this article Snooki's been hitting the gym hard the past couple of months and is now "slim". The pic on the left is the before and the pic on the right is the after. So I pose this question: Are you trying to smash the new and improved snooks? I mean its all fun and games when snooki's a beefcake to write her off. " Awww man shes gross. Her face is iight, but shes fat" . But now shes got a hard body? C'mon man. I think shes fair game as long as shes "slim" . Her face has always been pretty nice and shes got phenominal skin tone. Thats tough to pass up. I aint saying shes a hottie overload but she looks pretty hot now. I'l probably be hard at Karma this summer looking for Snookie a little soft from the SoCo. And thats kinda the beauty of it, she was a beefcake so her standards are kinda low. Shes not like a normal celebrity where she'd be impossible to smash. So you heard it here 1st fellas, Snooks is now smushable. Good Luck to all of yall on the chase!

BREAKING NEWS: Dustin from the Real World is gay

Huffington Post: "Dustin Zito of "Real World: Las Vegas" is straight. That's no secret. What is, however, is his gay porn past. The 24-year old Louisiana native comes from a rough background, and to escape, he headed to Los Angeles. There, he got involved a website called FratPad, which used streaming video cameras to document attractive young men living together. And often times, do much more than just hang out.It's a secret he's thus far kept from his roommates, and in Wednesday's premiere episode, he even hooked up with a (female) cast member named Heather."


Well everybody. I told you. Its that simple, I fucking told you. If you watched the real world last night you saw the preview for next weeks episode in which Dustin pretty much comes out of the closet. Wait a second, hes not gay? He just did gay porn? Nice try Zito, you almost got me there. Actually on second thought you didn't, because you dont do gay porn and still say your straight because that's not real life. I call it how I see it and I saw a homo, and what do you know? The guy is a homo. To all you jerks who had his back saying "Dude Dustin fucks Heather, he's the man, he's so cool". In. Your. Face. Call him bi-sexual if you want, but ill leave you with this. Half homo, full homo.

The age old question: How drunk do you have to be for you to be transported?

So gents and sluts, I was thinking today, how fucking drunk do I or one of my bros have to be to get transported. I thought about it for about 2 seconds and came up with the obvious answer. I'll die of alcohol poisoning before I let myself get taken out in a fucking stretcher and put in the back of an ambulance. Like seriously, thats got to be the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to someone ever, not to mention it cost about 3 bagillion dollars in ambulance fees or whatever. How big of a piece of shit do you feel getting taken out on a stretcher? especially since you know there are gonna be around 8-12 shitheads standing by to see what ass hole couldn't handle their liquor (rightfully so). Therefore, if iam puking jager and blood, stick my head in the toilet and drown me, no way on earth are you getting me in the back of an ambulance. On the other side of the spectrum, how drunk does your bro have to be for you to muster up the courage to call dps and get him transported? Here is where it gets tricky, cause if something really bad ends up happening to the kid, its kinda on you. My opinion still does not change. You could beg and plead to me while your puking your brains out that you want me to call your mommy or get an RA, but you know what? No. Because tomorrow when your sippin some gingerale and munchin saltines your gonna say to me, "bro, why the fuck did you get me transported? i was fine, i just had a little fever" So guess what, the answer is simple, no bro should ever get transported, ever. In the case of a smut, the first sign of them puking, ill press 1 on my speed dial and have dps there in a snap of the finger to take them to the nearest hospital. Unless ofcourse they are conscious, in which you then just take advantage of them.

My College Application

So the other day I was cleaning out miscellaneous crap from my bedroom and came across some college stuff. Just old recruiting brochures and other bullshit. Came across a few paper applications and made me think that the questions colleges ask are a terrible gauge of how qualified a student is for a college. What would George Muresan University's application look like you ask? Have no fear. This is exactly the questions would look like and specific answers that we're looking for:

George Muresan University Application 2011

Race (Always good to get this one right out of the way.)

Name

State of Birth (All acceptable except New York, New Jersey, and New Mexico. No fistpumping or illegals here.)

Have you ever seen an attractive female with short hair besides Halle Berry? (If yes, denied. No taste.)

Whats the best type of beer? (Keystone Light, Busch Lattes, Coors, Miller, Bud. Buy American or go home.)

40 time? (Anything higher than 5, denied. This is a university of training athletes.)

It is? (What it is. School motto.)

Kanye or Weezy? (Diversity.)

Last time you drank? (If not in the past 48 hours, forget it.)

Your buddy is passed out, face hanging in the toilet. You a.) tell an RA and transport your buddy so that he is safe or b.) Write on his face and steal his good food? (Obvious one.)

Words to live by? (Cashing checks and snapping necks. Anything of this sort works.)

You have an exam tomorrow. Do you spend all night in the library busting your ass studying all night or get drunk, stay up all night pounding KeithStones, head into your exam housed and banking on sitting next to a buddy that'll help you out. (GMU doesn't even have a library. The thirties are on us on nights like this.)

For girls only:

Have you ever been featured as a smokeshow of the day? (If yes, yes. If no, forget about it. A real deal breaker here.)

If you answered yes to the question above, do you know your way around the dick and will you fuck your professor for an A? (Not looking for no softies here.)

Essay:

Drunkest experience. Go.

And thats it. If you think you can make it, submit your application to Hall 11, room 141.

Does Watching Movies on the 2 Minute Walk to Class Get You Laid?

So I was strolling to class today walking behind some bro when I noticed that he was looking at his iPod, occasionally stolling off the path onto geese shit infested grass. It wasn't until I heard him literally laugh out loud that I realized he was watching a movie....ON THE FUCKING TWO MINUTE WALK TO CLASS. The best part about it was that he was positively certain that it was the coolest thing to do. Like occasionally looking up to see if anybody he knew was walking the opposite way so he could let out a little chuckle when they got close. Just so they would know that he had uploaded Star Wars IV onto his pod. Whatever the movie was, the bastard was fucking loving it, letting out numerous chuckles. By the time we got into the unistructure I was pretty much craning my fucking neck to find out what all the hilariousness was about. Goddam characters watching movies on the way to class, get the fuck off my campus.

When celebrities think they are doing something significant...

      You see that little black heart thing Shenae Grimes has under her eye?  Apparently it is a temporary tattoo she has had for the past few weeks or something and it's supposed to represent how much she cares for Japan right now.  Bullshit.  Who does she think she is walking around thinking she's thoughtful by getting a TEMPORARY tattoo of a miniature heart under her eye?  This is the real deal: celebrities say they are doing something out of the ordinary for a cause, but in reality it does nothing to help anyone or anything except their own image. How about you take your C list celebrity money and actually give it to Japan instead of making a fashion statement and saying it means you are thinking of them? "Oh today I wore shoes because...uh...well because like... Katrina was bad..."  Get the fuck out of here Shenae Grimes! I don't care if I still watch 90210 and you are incredible on it, this heart doesn't mean shit! The only way I'm respecting her for something of this nature is if she got sleevs. Granted, her good looks who go so far down the drain if she had sleeves, but at least it would actually be somewhat significant and more than just a way to further market her mediocrity.  Sleeves or nothing.

VOTE ON THE NEW POLL

Writer's Block

       Is it bad that the only thing I can write about is my inability to write about anything substantial? I think it's bad, especially considering I have about 8 million essays due tomorrow and I literally can't write anything besides my name in the top left corner. Yep, that's right, at this point I have such a writer's block that I can't even manage to get a date and title down on any of my essays. To be fair, who wants to write a 6 page essay analyzing why some Spanish girl can cook food that makes everyone want to fuck like turtles and catch on fire (it's called Like Water for Chocolate or some other bullshit about chocolate). It's probably the dumbest book I've ever watched a movie of. I would honestly rather watch a marathon of all Mary Kate and Ashley detective movies while being punched in the balls at the same time, that's how bad this movie is. The only redeeming quality of this movie/book is that there are a lot of boobs. That being said, they are pretty average-not-movie-quality boobs. The moral of this post is that if you ever have to watch some movie about chocolate and people on fire, tell your teacher you are sick and then go die so you won't have to not be able to write 5-6 pages on it. Or you could rant about how bad the movie is to get your creative juices flowing and turn your writer's block into a writer's...block. Yeah, this didn't help me one bit; I still have a writer's block. Fellow blog readers, it's been nice knowing you because I'm so fucking fucked for classes tomorrow. Night, night savages.

P.S.- Vote on the new poll! --->

Who would you rather do? Results

      So after a week(ish) of some hardcore polling, the winner of this week(ish)'s "Who would you rather do?" is: scissor Natalie Portman with a total of 9 out of 20 votes.  20 votes? Really? That's all? Our blog has been veiwed nearly 1500 times and there were only 20 votes? C'mon now people let's do better next time.  By the way, we all know which of our constant readers voted for the men's lax team...  I'll be honest, I voted twice. At first I voted for pounding the women's basketball smokeshow and if you know who I'm talking about you know it would be legendary. But, then I caved because I am literally in love with Natalie Portman and scissoring her would be so romanic and emotional.  I would defintiely cry afterwards out of happiness, after we parted ways of course, can't let a woman see you cry.  I think I fell in love with her after Star Wars, she was so beautiful and adorable, but after seeing her in No Strings Attached, Black Swan, and Your Highness it just got so real.  She is uncontrollably sexual and gorgeous in all of these movies, so I'm really glad she was able to pull out the small victory in this poll.  She deserves it.  Offense wins games, defense wins championships.  NP<3forever.

P.S. - The new poll will be out tomorrow, so stay tuned and get your votes in!
P.P.S. - By womens basketball smokeshow I am obviously referring to Skylar Diggins................

Uh oh....

2-9? This was not supposed to happen. Our ace is 0-3, we can't hit, we fucking suck. Here is the question: is it time to jump ship? I say yes, trade papelbon, unload buckholtz, get crawford the fuck out of town. time to start thinking about next year. No, I am just kidding (but not really about crawford) we are 11 games in, and the orioles are leading the AL east, and we are in last place. this is a bizarro world we are living in. But dont worry gents, dice-k is looking good. We should be all set.

Man Essential Number Two: Boat Shoes

Ahh boat shoes. One of lifes little treasures. Simple yet incredibly sophisticated. The best part about boat shoes is that they can be worn anytime, anywhere. Want to wear them in the winter with socks? No problem sir. Throw on a pair of long slacks to cover the socks and go about your day looking hentle as fuck. Summertime, Coronas on the porch with Poppa Muresan? You know both of us are rocking the fuck out of some top-siders. Sperrys, Sebago, Columbia, St. John's Bay. Which brand? Who gives a fuck, good brand, bad brand, its like pizza baby! Its good no matter what!

Quick facts about boat shoes:

-Allen Iverson once forgot his basketball shoes to a high school basketball game. He wore boat shoes instead and recorded his first quadruple double.

- The US Constitution was signed entirely by men wearing boat shoes. They said it was because they "wouldn't have been able to sign if it weren't for the boat shoes. They were just so comfortable and fitting".

- Jimmy V gave his infamous 1993 ESPY speech in boat shoes. He stated that although it was a formal event, he "enjoys being a little wild, but tame at the same time."

- Herb Brooks wore boat shoes to his USA hockey team's win over the USSR in the 1980 Olympic semifinals. AKA Miracle on Ice. AKA Miracle on the Feet of Herb Brooks.

- Gus Johnson wears boat shoes every game he broadcasts saying that boat shoes give him the ability to be comfortable with himself enough to be an enthusiastic energy in front of millions of viewers.

- Boat shoes were founded by the Dos Equis guy when he was stranded on a deserted island and forced to string together sea turtles to get back to shore. Looking for something that could cover his feet and not be ruined by the seawater, he killed a buffalo and used its hide to create the first ever pair of boat shoes.

Anybody who ever compares boat shoes to loafers deserves a swift boat shoe kick to the face. Its like comparing Mila Kunis to the fat kid from What's Happening. One is sporty and fun and you want to be seen with, the other one you just want to bash in the head with a five iron.

PS: Another great thing about boat shoes is that they go great with a finished basement. Its like cotton and candy, really.

Anybody who ever compares boat shoes

Is being in an artist's entourage the best thing ever?

So Gheorge was at the Mac Miller/Wiz Khalifa concert at URI last night. I didn't touch a blunt but still got high as a kite. It was pretty solid, but the entire time I was thinking about one thing only: how can I become part of an entourage? It has to be the best gig ever right? You roll around from place to place with your best friends. You don't pay for anything. The smokes that want to fuck the lead guy will still settle for his wingman. You get fucked up every show. Sure the spotlight is never on you, but you're still up there on stage just jammin out. And the best part is you got no responsibility. If the lead guy sucks its not your fault. You don't got to create lyrics. You don't get bashed. So I want to know how I get into this business. Find lyrically gifted friends? Make an unbreakable pact with kindergarten children that they'll put me in their entourage if they make it big one day?

PS: I would definitely be that guy in the picture. Just grabbin my buddy and throwing him around. Pretty much make it a two man act.

Best Yogurt on the Planet?

So Chobani's been on the market for years now but i feel like it doesnt get what it deserves. Just because theres no ads this unbelievable yogurt get so underplayed. This yogurt is the best on the planet. period. No if ands or buts. Dont gimme this "ah man go-gurt was sick!" or "trix bro". Go take it up the ass. Literally chobani kicks all those other yogurts asses. Like the company motto, "Nothing but good". Thats it. Great Taste and Protein. Its literally a great tasting cup of protein. 14 grams? thats more than a fuckin cliff bar. Its got protein but is tasty, its thick yet smooth, and oh yah theres a bunch of protein. I guarentee your go-gurt didnt even have 5 grams. Go buy some chobani if you wanna get better

"A tradition unlike any other"

Ill keep this short and sweet. Its Masters week, and anybody who says Tiger is done, is just a fucking idiot. He is winning this week, and the best part about it is hes divorced, so he can bang as many smuts as he wants with a clear conscience. So for all you idiots out there saying hes never gonna win a major again. Go fuck yourself.

The age old question "If i played in this womens game, what would my numbers be"

It seems like every single time a group of bros watches a women college basketball game the question of "yo bro, say I was out there, what would my numbers be." In this group of bros, you got the kid who says "Id put up 40, 26 boards and 15 dimes, easy." Then you have that other kid who says "Well these girls are in really good shape, i dunno, id probably score 8 points and get a few rebounds." Well gents, I am here to put this argument to rest. I'am going to give 3 scenarios, for 3 different types of basketball players. First is James Peterson, kids kind of a stud when it comes to basketball, can shoot lights out, take the ball to the rack, pretty much does it all. not to mention hes about 6'0 which would make him a monster in womens basketball. His line would be 34 points, 16 rebounds and 8 assists. Kid would stick his dick in the hoop like 9 times during the game. Next is myself, not a bad player, can shoot the trey, not the tallest dude on the court but I can play. My line, 22 points 9 boards and 12 dimes (id pretty much be skylar diggins out there). Lastly, is Ham Sandwhich. Ham sandwhich can rebound, and play some D, thats about it. His line in a womens basketball game, 16 points, 27 rebounds, 6 assists, 4 blocks, 5 steals, 10 turnovers. In conclusion, men are supperior to women. In every aspect of athletics. If Danielle Adams can score 30 points in the national championship, so can 80% of the male population.

Tuesday Night TV is TERRIBLE

     Tuesday night around 8 o'clock on FOX could be considered a strong candidate for highlight of my week.  One of the best shows on tv and easily the best Tuesday night show.  No one wants to watch the 800th re-run of America's Funniest Home Videos.  Oh, wow! That dude just got hit in the balls by his daughter's bicycle... never seen that one before...  8pm on Tuesday would be Glee.  I know about 3/5 of the writers on this blog are gonna call me out and come at my head for this, but I don't care.  Last night sucked without Glee. Didn't see Dianna Agron, which means I was soft (sexual innuendo) and didn't see Blaine lay merk to the musical community, which also means I did not visit the iTunes music store.  Say what you want about Glee, but it is incredible.  Don't tell me for one second you wouldn't want to be on stage with a killer voice, a sick part in your hair, and rocking a blue blazer with red trim! You're a lier if you wouldn't want that.  Most dudes don't watch cause they think it's gay without ever watching...??? Alright man, ask Zac Efron how gay he was when he pounded the shit out of Vanessa Hudgens.  I've literally had about 7 girls say they were wet after seeing Darren Criss (Blaine) perform on anything on Glee and about 5 of them said they would let him put it in their butt. So suck on that all you dudes that think you're cool for calling Glee gay.  Without Glee, Tuesday night tv is terrible (unless you throw on some late night HBO).  Don't judge a book by it's cover.   Few regginalds are gentle.

They're Back and They're Back BIG!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5l8PmhthHWc

If you've been living under a rock, NKOTBSB is a combination of New Kid's on the Block and the Backstreet Boys and both groups are making there long awaited return to the music industry. They shocked the world at the AMA's in 2010 and are now coming out with hits, just doing what they do. Hide ya daughters, hide ya girlfriends because these guys can make the iciest of icy chicks melt hard. Like it isnt even a question whether or not these guys are on the radio nonstop, its just a question when it will happen. Get ready people, it's about that time for a boy band revolution!

Who Ya Got? Bullpen Catcher vs Backup Quarterback

So the infamous question, who would ya rather be? Two coveted positions in sports, the bullpen catcher vs the backup quarterback. Both positions are known for there ability to chill with the professional athletes all while not having to do any actual work. One popular argument is to always go baseball over football because its so much more fun to hang out in the sun spitting seeds and cleaning your enframes. Valid. Baseball by nature is a chill sport, and here we celebrate chill stuff. But heres the flaw with the bullpen catcher, he's not really considered on the team. Granted at no point will he ever be called upon to play, but he isnt getting the spotlight, pussy, or pay the pretty boy backup qb's get. The backup quarterback still rolls with the team entourage, pounds box, and gets recognized at the local sportsbar. The bullpen catcher will never experience these wonderful things. The other advantage the backup qb gets is that tom brady, matt cassell, or caleb haney type moment that people dream about. When the starting qb even gets touched hard the camera always finds the shithead backup. And even if he goes in , who gives a fuck if he fucks up? Most fans have already given up the game at that point. The media nevers comes hard at the backup....It will all be talk about how the starter got hurt. And what if the backup goes in and balls out? ... The answer is so much box in his face that his head will spin. So im putting the backup qb spot in a close win over the bullpen catcher as my #1 job in sports.

And P.S who wants their job description to be "Squats down and gets balls thrown at him"

( pun intended)

Is Skylar Diggins Hot?

So after Notre Dame's elephantitis upset of the UConn women's team, apparently this broad Skylar Diggins on ND became the most searched person on the web. I guess Lil Wayne and Chris Brown hit her up on twitter (pun absolutely intended) and were being all sexual and whatnot. Weezy like called her his wife, etc, etc. So the big question all of us are wondering: whats the deal? She had a big night but c'mon, were still talking about women's basketball. The same basketball that is talent-wise slightly below men's intramural B-leagues and slightly higher than the YMCA's Fun Friday League. There's not a chance Weezy was watching the semifinal game. So I've come to two conclusions:

1. Weezy knocked Diggins up back in high school, hasn't said a word to her since, now he's trying to make amends.

2. Skylar Diggins is *gasp* hot?

I just can't see #2 happening. Don't see it at all. Maybe it's me. I'll take my chances with Weezy pillaged that back in high school any day of the week over the latter.

Ozone Layer Depletion Record High

So yahoo news reported today that the ozone layer over the artic has depleted at an all time high rate over the past year, increasing the ever-threating risk, I mean reward of global warming. Soon you won't even need one of these goofy ass suits to swim in the arctic, Ill be down there killing it a bathing suit and a tank by the end of the year. I mean I guess I just have to ask for things to get done and they get done. Good work people I ask you to pollute and make the world a better warmer place and the shit just happens a week after I post. Next I am going to need all the able bodied good looking smuts to deal out pj's on an hourly basis.

Amare calls Gasol Soft

It seems like you can't go a couple of weeks in the NBA without someone coming at Gasols head. Congrats Pau, you got two rings and are an accomplished NBA star. But you know what Pau, welcome to America bro! Welcome to this beautiful country we live in. We don't care your about your credentials because if you look or play a little different then us we are going to ridicule you for it. The brash players in the NBA refuse to accept some euro fruitcake running around on our courts even if he is successful. The fact is you look like a fairy and you flop like a little girl. Get em Amare!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVNxDjTbH8w

The 613 Page Views Post

      To all those people that doubted us: fuck you!  We created this blog pretty much a day ago and already have 613 people drooling over everything we write.  Either we are all ridiculously cool people and everyone looks at the links on our Facebook statuses or we are all ridiculously cool people and everyone looks at the links on our Facebook statuses.  There is a sexy volleyball player that has a blog about her sex life, including how hard she takes it from behind and whether or not she swallows. How many page views do you think she has?... 45! So suck it.  This accolade just proves how much more gentle we are than you.  Watch out bloggers, we're head hunting!

P.S. - Vote on the new poll -->

Update on Wesley's Weekend

So as many of you know it was Wesley's birthday last weekend and he did, in fact, spend almost $200 on alcohol. Really over did it.  Probably drank about $50 of it, including the people he shared with.  In reference to Gheorghe's post, Wesley's quest for birthday pound town showed so much promise at first, but ended up pretty damn unsuccessful.  It's cool though half the battle is planting seeds, and with that $200 dollars Wes will be growing apple and orange trees in no time.  The weekend as a whole was a success, though.  If you didn't get shitty and almost ruin at least 5 friendships then you're just soft as truck.  The fact that Wesley is updating you all on his own weekend status, on Tuesday, pretty much sums it up on its own.  Wes will take getting rusted with a couple of bros and winning $100 in a bracket challenge any day over getting piped. No he won't, but you get the point. It was a very good weekend despite Gheorghe taking some personal shots at him.  Be sure to ask Gheorghe how much of that alcohol he had after his post (NONE! Fucker!)

P.S. - Ask Danny Almonte about his wild weekend

One Shinning Moment

No matter how bad the ncaa tournament ends up being (this year), no matter how shitty your bracket turns out to be (this year), and no matter how terribly awful and impossible to watch the national championship is (this year), there is always one thing you can count on...the One Shining Moment montage. Dave Barret's emotional song that was debued after the famous 1987 national championship where Keith Smart won Indiana a national championship has been transformed into a tradition that always seems to give you goose bumps. Now Luther Vandross kills it like he does everything else. Whether it was Danny and the miracles blubbering in '88 or Mateen Cleaves crying like a baby in 2000, One Shining Moment always knows how to make a grown black man cry. This years version end up being no different.

2011 One Shining Moment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVS3I_tssto

Did Uconn Win?

No. Butler lost. Second straight year the slipper doesn't fit. Just a gross game. Bro University's B League intramural final was slightly more interesting. End of blog.

Campus Tours Are for the Birds

So today is Bro University incoming student open house? I don't know what it is. All I know is that it's a bunch of overachieving egotistical resume building nerds leading kids around campus telling them about all their wonderful college experiences, half of which are bullshit, all of which are G-rated. "This one time I woke up at 7:48 for an 8 o'clock exam! But don't worry I still got there on time! Smiley!" Fuck that shit. I want to hear the good stuff. Just once I wanted a tour guide to be like "See that park bench right there. I've fucked two Spaniards on it." "See that wooded clearing over there? Blunts fo' days." Maybe its not something that the folks want to hear, but once a kid hears that, all he's thinking is here we go.

If I could go back and redo my college decision process, I would go about it a whole new way. Hit up facebook, go to the [College] Class of 2013 group and check out the smokes we're working with. Default pics, profile pics, whatever you can get.

PS - Legit just heard a tour guide say "The campus' favorite event to do is Bingo!" Um....no I would say the favorite campus activity is getting hammered, getting Ronzios and rollin one up.

Does Spending $200 on Booze Get Wes Laid?

So big Wes P. just dropped 200 bills on booze. Birthday weekend shenanigans and whatnot. The big question remains: will this outrageous beverage bill grant Wesley Pipes the ability to lay pipe tonight? Will some innocent freshman female be taken advantage of in the wee hours of the nighttime? I may be doing live look-ins throughout the evening on Wesley's status. Stay tuned folks, this ones gonna be a wild one.