At this point Im saying Fuck Al Gore and all his global warming bullshit. Honestly its about to be April 1st and were getting a fresh batch of snow up in the northeast. Are you shitting me? The fifteen feet we already got wasn't enough? I mean you gotta be fisting me right? So what I'm proposing is more littering and more emissions from every able bodied individual until we're living in a paradise where its consistently 85 degrees, no more of this snow bullshit. Global Warming cannot come fast enough. I mean seriously, we wont be here when the shit really hits the fan so who gives a shit. Till then I'm off to the equator so I can get some real spring weather. Get with it or get lost people.
P.S. Everyone who says theyd rather suffer another long as winter than have some beautiful 85 degree weather due to pollution is damn liar.
P.P.S. Snow can be allowed on Christmas and that is about it.
Yahoo - Before the final buzzer sounded last Sunday, 99.9 percent of amateur bracketologists across the globe had already torched their brackets. For the first time in the history of the Big Dance no No. 1 or No. 2 seeds had advanced to the Final Four. The rash of unpredictable upsets made many entries appear slashed and bloodied, leaving a bitter taste in mouths of optimistic prognosticators who two weeks earlier were supremely confident they had submitted a winner.Unbeknown to many of the approximately 300 students at Jefferson High School outside Salem, Ore., is a humble librarian with unmatched basketball foresight. Not only a master of the Dewey Decimal System and moves on the pitch — she also coaches girls soccer — Diana Inch is the only person in the entire Yahoo! universe to accurately predict all four Final Four teams, an almost impossible task this year.
So browsing around on yahoo today and I stumbled along an all too popular story that seems to come around at this same time every year. With a caption reading:
[insert below average paying job here] correctly picks a near perfect bracket!
Okay, the bitch supposedly picked the final four teams. But you know how a smart guy like me was able to see right through the lie that is this whole article?
- a humble librarian with unmatched basketball foresight - Newsflash. She's a librarian. A female librarian. This "unmatched basketball foresight could possible be the most untrue statement ever made.
- Diana hopes the increased exposure will draw much-needed attention to her cash-strapped school district, which you can help out, along with other distressed Oregon schools, here. - Really yahoo? Oregon got distressed schools? Bitch we all got distressed schools.
But undoubtably the best part of this whole article comes from a question asked by a reporter to her:
RA: Though it's never happened before in tournament history, you had three No. 16 seeds toppling Goliath (No. 1 seeds). Why?
Diana: DOGS: 16 Boston U Terriers (over Kansas), UNC Asheville Bulldogs (over Pitt) (also has a V in the name); BIRD vs. SEED 16 UTSA Roadrunners would eat seeds/buckeyes (Ohio St.).
She had three 16 seeds winning their opening round games. Yeah this chick really did her homework on this one.
So as many of you surely know, it's Wesley Pipe's Birthday today. If you havn't already wished him a good one then shame on you. Luckily for him his birthday lands on a big thursday. But here's the real question, what if it didn't? Obviously if your bday is on a thursday, friday, saturday, or sunday then its that weekend your wearing your tiara, getting shitty, and making bad decisions. But what if your bday lands on a monday night? .... a tuesday? or even a wednesday? Whens the big bday weekend? Is it the weekend prior to your birthday or is it the next weekend? What a dilemma. Personally, you look like an assclown either way. Scenario 1 - Celebrating your bday early. Scenario 2 - Celebrating your bday late. What's the point of getting shitty and saying its your birthday if your not turing 20 for another 96 hours? But then isnt celebrating your bday 96 hours late kinda pointlesss too? Hey man im sorry your bday was on a tuesday but no one want to cheer you on when you've been 20 for four days or the classic "hey how old are you now" ... " well i'll be 20 next wednesday" . No one wants to hear that. I've never seen someone 20 and four days get a pj from a 5. So my conclusion is if your bday doesnt land on a weekend, then just go fuck yourself. Seriously just go out to dinner on your tuesday night and when that next weekend rolls around just get a little buzzed and go to bed like everyone else because by that point your no different than the shmucks in 420. - Hammy
Well gents its about that time for the mlb season to start. Opening
day is today and needless to say all the baseball fans out there are
excited. On opening day everyones a playoff team and everyones in
first place. Clean slate, new beginning. Don't matter if your a
yankees fan or a pirates fan, on opening day everyone feels this is
their teams year to play in late october. I am going to give you my
predictions on where everyone will finish this year and who will win
the whole thing. Ill also give you the rest of the gentz world series
picks. So here we go:
AL East
1. Boston Red Sox
2. New York Yankees
3. Baltimore Orioles
4. Tampa Bay Rays
5. Toronto Blue Jays
-I am sure by now everyone has heard of all the acquisitions the Sox
have made this offseason. I just don't see this team winning less than
97 games with the lineup and rotation that they have this year. There
only question mark comes in their bullpen, and I am not sure Bobby
Jenks is the answer to their middle relief woes that they suffered
last year. But if your only questionmark is who's going to pitch the
7th and 8th, then I would say your living good.
AL Central
1. Detroit Tigers
2. Minnesota Twins
3. Chicago White Sox
4. Cleveland Indians
5. Kansas City Royals
-I love the Tigers this year. I think one of the better offseason moves any team made this year was the Tigers picking up Victor Martinez. Martinez is arguably the best offensive catcher in the game, and it does not even look like he is going to be behind the plate too much this year, which should boost his productivity even more. There big question is starting pitching. They have a certified horse in Justin Verlander as their ace. And if Brad Penny can win 14+ games for them, they should be in a good spot come playoff time.
AL West
1. Oakland Athletics
2. Los Angles Angels (Wild Card team)
3. Texas Rangers
4. Seattle Mariners
-Oakland should surprise some people this year. Trevor Cahill is a stud who is good for around 18-19 wins, and they picked up Josh Willingham, who isn't a team changer, but adds a solid bat to the middle of their order. This team was not far off last year, and I do not expect them to be far off at all this year. Look for the A's to win this division, with the Angels coming in a close 2nd, taking the American Leagues wild card spot.
NL East
1. Atlanta Braves
2. Philadelphia Phillies (Wild Card team)
3. New York Mets
4. Washington Nationals
5. Florida Marlins
-Here is my big surprise with my picks. Everyone is jumping hard on the Phillies bandwagon, well let me tell you this, not me. The Braves are really really good. There rotation is very solid with Derek Lowe and Tim Hudson, but their lineup is what really makes them a great team. Dan Uggla was their marquee pickup in the offseason and will bat 4th for them. With a lineup that consists of Nate Mclouth, Chipper Jones, Dan Uggla, Brian Mccann and Jason Hayward as your 2-6, I don't care whose in your division, your going to be pretty close to the top come october.
NL Central
1. Cincinnati Reds
2. Milwaukee Brewers
3. St Louis Cardinals
4. Chicago Cubs
5. Houston Astros
6. Pittsburgh Pirates
-The NL Central is uncharacteristically mediocre this year. I like the Reds pretty much by process of elimination. Edinson Volquez is good ace, and Bronson Arroyo is nice little 2 guy. They also have the NL MVP on their side which does not hurt. Look for Jay Bruce to have a breakout year this year. We are only 3 years removed from Bruce being the most highly touted prospect, he is due for a huge year.
NL West
1. San Francisco Giants
2. Los Angeles Dodgers
3. San Diego Padres
4. Colorado Rockies
5. Arizona Diamondbacks
-Last but not least, actually ya probably the least, the NL West. Although your World Series champs come from this division, that is really the only bright spot it has going for them. The Giants are good though. Probably the best pitcher in baseball anchors their rotation with the arguably best closer in the game Brian Wilson anchoring their bullpen. The Giants should win the west moderately easily.
World Series: Atlanta Braves OVER Boston Red Sox
-You heard it here first, the Atlanta Braves your 2011 World Series champs.
AL MVP: Miguel Cabrerra
NL MVP: Hanley Ramirez
AL Cy Young: Jon Lester
NL Cy Young: Roy Halladay
A Few Gents Picks:
Wesley Snipes:
World Series: Boston Red Sox OVER Pittsburgh Pirates
AL MVP: Jacoby Ellsbury
NL MVP: Sammy Sosa
AL Cy Young: Charlie Morton
NL Cy Young: Carlos Zambrano
James Peterson:
World Series: Boston Red Sox OVER St. Louis Cardinals
AL MVP: Adrien Gonzalez
NL MVP: Carlos Gonzalez
AL Cy Young: David Price
NL Cy Young: Roy Halladay
George Mursean:
World Series: Boston Red Sox OVER Philadelphia Phillies
AL MVP: Evan Longoria
NL MVP: Justin Upton
AL Cy Young: David Price
NL Cy Young: Cliff Lee
Ham Sandwhich:
World Series: Cincinnati Reds OVER Los Angeles Angles
AL MVP: Robinson Cano
NL MVP: Carlos Gonzalez
AL Cy Young: Felix Hernandez
NL Cy Young: Edinson Volquez
Jabar
World Series: Yankees OVER Phillies
AL MVP: Alex Rodriguez
NL MVP: Troy Tulowitzki
AL Cy Young: C.C Sabathia
NL Cy Young: Roy Halladay
