Still Worried?

Remember back when the Sox started the season 2-10 and all those arrogant fucks that call themselves Yankees fans used to say "Sox are looking real good, huh?" and "They're done". And then you would read the blogs saying should we be worried and forums of unloyal fans throwing in the towel. Well fuck that noise. Those people have no understanding of the game. 162 games. The longest season out of any sport. You could lose your first 15 games and it still wouldn't be crazy to make the playoffs (does not apply for AL East teams). The season is so long, so much is going on, the best team will be on top at the end of the season.

PS: Saltalamacchia, you can open your eyes now champ.

Finals Week

What the fuck is good with finals. You have 4 or 5 finals in a span of 4 or 5 days. You basically stay up all night looking at the same bullshit over and over pretending to learn it or care. And when you get the final, it doesn't matter how long or hard you studied, there's always one section worth more points than the others that you just plain didn't study. You got to remember little details like sargassums and control processes and current value formulas. And finals week always happens to be like the best fuckin week of the year. 85 and sunny, the SI Swimsuit girls are having a bakesale down the street, the liquor store is giving away kegs just for their own shits and giggles. But noooo, your stuck inside forcing yourself to pretend to care about bullshit that you will probably retain for the next 24 hours. Probably the worst week of the year. And then when your done, don't forget that they kick you right the fuck out. Like bro, I can't get one week here where I can just funnel Jaeger and be balls deep in some willing and mediocre freshman bitties and not having to worry about getting to that fucking 11 o'clock class that has mandatory attendance?

And then when you are leaving, it's always awkward as fuck. Who do you say bye to? Do you say bye to your tutor who got you through Stats but had that funny smell to him but at the same time could be useful in the future? Do you say bye to the quiet kid who lives next door who guest passed you into lunch a couple times? Its like fuck. I could never be seeing some of these people ever again, but do I give a fuck? Probably not. So fuck goodbyes. And fuck finals week.

Is John Mayer the Biggest Bro of All-Time?.......Yes

I know what you're all thinking right now... "holy shit James where the fuck have you been?". Yeah yeah yeah Wesley has been all over my ass, no homo, for however long its been to write another post and I'll tell you what I told him. Lick my taint I'm not forcing a blog post about bullshit. Guess what though I'm back now and I'm back with amotherfuckinvengeance, yeah that's right making up new words and shit.

Alright so lets get down to the reason while I'm really here. For centuries the question of Who Is the Biggest Bro of All-Time? has been debated by anyone and everyone. If you've ever used the word bro then you've had this debate, fact. Well I'm here with the answer and its plain and simple, clear as crystal, black and white. John Mayer is the one and only answer for about 97.3 trillion reasons only a few of which I have the time to write about.

First of all, have you ever heard the guy play guitar? Dude is probably the single greatest guitarist of all time. Ask anyone the one talent they wish they had and I guarantee other than being able to dunk a basketball the majority of men who listen to music will respond, play the guitar. You don't win 7 Grammies by accident I mean c'mon dude is probably the best singer song writer of the last thirty years as well. Music is perfect for all occasions, you're trying to bro out? oh throw on some Mayer, you're trying to get your dick wet? oh throw on some Mayer. The fact is once he picks up a guitar there is a local flood warning, every girl who sees him sing or play instantly becomes puddle pants. If you're not a fan of his music, fuck you, you're dumb its that simple. However, all his musical talents and successes aside he has gotten his dick wet from some of the hottest women walking the planet. Jennifer Love-Hewitt, Jessica Simpson (when she was a smoke), Minka Kelly, Jennifer Aniston and Taylor Swift. That's probably one of the single best celebrity smoke lists ever put together by a single human being and hes been inside all of them there is no doubt about it and those are just the notable celebrities he has been with. I mean normal everyday groupies who aren't making movies and what not I'd estimates he has probably slayed like 453 easy. I mean anyway you look at it he's the fuckin man there is no doubt about it. It's like the old saying men want to be him and women want to sit on his face, or something like that

P.S. How many computers do you think I ruined with that picture up top. I mean any female who looked at it probably got all hot and bothered and went wet all over her computer. Mayer is a walking pussy flood warning, look it up its in the encyclopedia.

P.P.S. Greatest Performance of all time with 2 of the greatest solos of all time http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAHeL-W9x9Y

Mallett's In the House

After a huge controversial draft for Bill theres a lotta fans wondering what he was doing. Bellichick had a lot of quesitonable picks but Ryan Mallett was by far the most talked about. He's taken some heat and I don't know why. How can you not like this guy? Hes got hero written all over him. Just an absolute thug. Hes gunna learn behind Brady for atleast 3 years and just pound girls in Boston. Hes got a big time arm taboot. So all you Brady haters out there coming at his long hair, model lifestyle and gay dancing, have no fear because "Big Dick" Malletts here to stay.

Wait, what?

What the fuck just happened? "it is also the time when all the losers and ugly girls think it's approipriate to join together and play 5 year old GAYmes in the middle of campus"? Whats up dude? Cause I'm pretty sure thats the opposite of what happens. Spring weekend to me is defined by bitches in yellow sun dresses, brolific bro's play cornhole, crushin Buschy Latte's and some Keith. To be honest I'm borderline hammered typin this bad boy up right now. Me, Jimmy Peterson, Slam Sandwich, and Fanny Almonte were just grillin with half the campus. Bitties on bitties. The people are confused! But don't worry all, Gheorge Muresan is here to set the record straight: GET THE FUCK OUTSIDE AND PLAY KANJAM. If your not playin lawn games while the suns out then your not gettin better, end of story.

PS: Girls get all hot and bothered when they see a great cornhole player.

Double PS: Barry Latham loves Beantown and Coronas. We have witnesses.

Spring Weekend... Get It

     There comes a time during the school year when the weather gets warmer, the sun gets brighter, and the girls get hotter. Spring. Weekend.  But, as awesome as spring weekend is and how cool it is that it's when all the smuts finally come back to school, it is also the time when all the losers and ugly girls think it's appropriate to join together and play 5 year old GAYmes in the middle of campus. Simply put, if you are outside frolicking in the sun before 4 pm then you are either a member of greek life or a loser, but I guess in both cases you are a loser anyways.  Before 4 you should be inside drinking some beers, playing sports video games that are based outside and getting blowjenskis (unless you're a girl, then you should be giving them).  And what the hell is this stupid frisbee game I've been seeing for the past week?  Literally every time I look out my window some scrubs are throwing the frisbee at a trash can 10 feet away from them... AND MISSING! I could make that shot with my dick and I can barely throw a frisbee.  It is by far the lamest thing I have seen all school year, worse then the Bryant News channel and Bryant Albert Einstein.  Oh sick dude, let's wear cargo shorts, training shoes with no midcalfs, a band shirt and have a couple 3s watch while we attempt to be cool.  Anyways, it's Spring Weekend here at Bro U so consider this weekend our vacation. See you hhhents in a few...

It's Finally Here!!

Well it's finally here guys. The biggest week of the year at Bryant. SPRING WEEK. Grab a basketball jersey, a red cup, and some shades. People going out every night of the week and people day drinking is the perfect medicine for disaster. If there aren't 20 people transported this week then I'm a pussy. Just literal pandemonium this weekend. DPS isnt stopping anyone this week. They just can't handle it. No one has any work to do and has plenty of booze. Buckle up and be a fuckin hero this week.

Spring Week '11 "Get pussy or be a pussy"